- e M 0 + | O N $ i C K n e S $ -
- e M 0 + | O N $ i C K n e S $ -
2008-04-03
10:07 p.m.

i wish i knew...

feeling: heh, well really, like i always do. shitty.

music: bomb factory... i dunno. some song by them. i'm too lazy to check.

you know, two years ago, i would never see myself like this. two years ago was great. about to graduate from high school, going to college in the fall with an awesome summer ahead of me. the awesome summer came and went, and college time was here. after three semesters at UNF, i decided that i hated it. it was terrible. now, i met some really cool people there, however, i can't say the same thing about the faculty and the people that work there. these days, i'm just struggling to get through the day.

i swear to god, if i could go back in time, i would change this piece of shit i call a life in a heartbeat. unfortunately, i can't, and i'm stuck with what i got... and if i'm to rebuild this sunken ship, i've got to buckle down. i've got to stop dicking around. but... my problem is i have no direction. no motivation. who am i going to do this for? myself? my mother? who?

now that's something i don't know. this coupled with long, lonely nights of depression leave me wondering how much more of this i can take. these days the only escape i get is on a message board full of people that i will probably never know. but it's one of the only peaces i can find during the day.

i don't know why i always run away from my problems. why i lie... why i'm just generally not a good person. i really don't know. i just feel so bad because right now, i feel like everything that was done for me when i was a child was all for naught. i feel like i've wasted the past two years.i honestly feel like that one dude from 5 centimeters per second. i've been wasting my time, pining away at a girl i'll probably never see again, and just end up making my life seem crappier because i know all i can do is just wallow in my lonliness, crying about how this unrequited love will always be unfufilled.

i know i'm not the only lonely person in the world, but still. each person is different. they all have different situations. nothing i can do about them...

i just don't know what to do with my life anymore.

i just don't know.

i don't know who to go for answers.

i don't know where to go in my future.

what will i do?

will i get a job?

start a family?

be one of those guys at the side of the road with a cardboard sign? god forbid...

but still... i can't help but wonder, because i don't know. i don't know anything, anymore. it's not like i did in high school either. i had no guidance. i've never had any guidance. i don't know what i want to do because i've never known what i wanted to do with my life.

*sigh* i wish i knew.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2006-04-09
5:55 p.m.

looking for a prom date/nostalgia trip

listening to: date rape by sublime
feeling: meh. (sorry kids, no ky eyecatch this time.)

lately i've been looking back on the things i have written in the past. not just here, i've been looking at old journals, sketchbooks, school works (yeah somehow i have been keeping a good portion of this stuff.).

it really is fun to look back, i know that is true. but earlier today i've realized something. i have been emphasizing the past way too much these past few months. i've been feeling very nostalgic as of late, and i think it's high time to change that.

i mean look at me. a senior in high school... (holy hell, i started this damn thing back in sophomore year) about to go to a decent college in the fall, with an entire summer to look foreward to... i should appreciate what's ahead of me... but a part of me doesn't want to move foreward...

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2005-09-21
11:39 p.m.

Foxtrot. Uniform. Charlie. Kilo.

Feeling:

not too well.

Musicos - inertiatic esp by the mars volta.

capitol letters are overrated. so here i am, just waking up from a 5 hour nap. yeah, that sudafed knocks you out something fierce. i have a cold right now, but i have no idea where it came from. so yeah, life hasn't been very good as of late. my grades are doing alright, but... something just isn't right about this school year. i feel like i'm slowly growing apart from everyone. it's probably because i don't seem them as much because our classes are so separated, maybe not, i'm not too sure. i don't get to talk to the people i want to talk to that often, either. the love life hasn't been to good either. no fish biting because there is no fish. seriously, there aren't many girls that i would be interested in my school. i'm just not getting that feeling that i had the past 3 years of high school, freshman year especially. that was probably my favorite year, so far. these days, it seems like everyone hates me. i try to be liked, but all my attempts at doing so are always fucked up by something. i have the feeling that i'm the obligatory 3rd wheel in my group of friends. seriously. it's crazy. somehow, all of my friends have chicks flirting with them, while all i can do is just sit there and do nothing. no one ever asks me if i have any girls in mind. i don't know... it could be jealousy, i'm not sure. i'm probably just not sociable enough, though i like to think i am. work hasn't been too good lately, either. it's been infriging too much on my social life. it's really hard to hang out with friends when you're constantly working on the weekends (including fridays). i know, money is good, but it's no good if it's just sitting there, doing nothing. just once i wanna go to the mall or something with friends and just hang out and get stuff. ah well, them's the brakes, i guess. meh.. the drumline nearly got disbanded today. what's worse is that i was totally clueless of what happened. we got totally chewed out today by our drum major and music teacher. to add insult to injury, this is the second time this week that i've been chewed out for something i had absolutely nothing to do with/totally ill-informed about. i guess that's how it works.. i just haven't been able to be happy lately. sure, i laugh a lot, but that doesn't mean i'm happy. i just do that because i find a lot of things to be funny, but it's been such a long time since i've been genuinely happy... like with myself and everything around me. oh well, it's getting kind of late, so i'd better end this one. peace outside, folks.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2005-08-21
12:56 a.m.

never enough.

Feeling:

a little crestfallen, whatever the fuck that means... lol.

Music: Once In A Lifetime by DragonForce.

well, folks, it's been months since my last entry, and boy do i have a lot of shit to tell. my summer, came and went. it was a mere 2 months and 11 days, which sucked, considering i worked most of the time. the money's not even going anywhere. i have to be patient to get the things i want this fall.

over the summer, i picked up a couple of good albums that i think you should check out:

Dream Theater's "Octavarium". a prog-metal masterpiece. given, it's not as good as their old stuff, but it rocks hard nonetheless. 9.99 out of 10.

The Mars Volta's "Frances The Mute". a full CD of prog goodness. lots of spanish here and there, but over all, catchy stuff. 8/10.

as i lay dying's "shadows are security". mall-core metal at its best. that's all i can say.

that's all for CDs.. for now. so yeah, pretty much, the summer sucked something awful. i got project snowblind for 10 bucks at circuit city... i popped it in, and for the first day i was intrigued. the next few days it actually became a chore to beat. once i was done with it, i was severely disaapointed by the ending, and the fact that there wasn't any cheat codes whatsoever. don't buy this game. speaking of games, i'm heading to the local gamestop this coming tuesday after drum lessons to make some preorders. i'm preordering an Xbox 360, a couple of games to go with said system, and some current-gen games.

*sigh* so... school's doing alright. my grades are doing well, and my social life, is well, ok... to say the most. all this working is killing me, that and all this worrying about the SAT, ACT, and signing up for college is scaring me. i just need some sort of thing to keep me in order. what would this be, you ask? a girlfriend. i've seen a good majority of my friends who have girlfriends. they seem to have the time of their lives with them. holding hands, making out, it seems like such a good thing to have. i just want someone of the opposite sex who understands me. someone i can talk to. someone i can relate to. someone i can hang out with.i already have two girls in mind right now, but they are both severely out of reach at this point of me being a senior in high school.

life just plain sucks, doesn't it. one minute, you're living your golden days, the next, you're worring about nothing but your future. it's always about the futute. no one ever takes time to look at the present until it becomes the past. that's what pisses me off about today's world. everything's about going faster. not me. i savor the moment. i take my sweet time. this song, Once In A Lifetime by DragonForce, it brings back good memories. memories of freshman year. it was such a simpler time, when we didn't have to worry about college, the SAT, or none of that BS. just ourselves. just what happened from day today. most of all, it was when she went to BJS. everyday, i think about her. the slightest hints make me think of her.. from hair, to eyes, to random words. it's just weird.

oh well.. no use babbling about it here. so yeah. yesterday was lisa b's birthday. there was a full moon. i called her at like 10 something to wish her happy birthday. it was pretty funny. meh...

so yeah, here i am, complaining about problems that i've tried just about everything to solve, yet not able to find a solution. hell, not even a temporary one. i guess that's how life is. a bunch of trial and error. anyways, i'm tired as hell, so i'm out. peace.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2005-04-01
1:33 p.m.

new survey! (thanks rachel! keep being sexy!)

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Mark
Birthday:October 24th, 1988.
Birthplace:Agana, Guam.
Current Location:Orange Park.
Eye Color:Brown.
Hair Color:Black.
Height:5'6"
Right Handed or Left Handed:Lefty.
Your Heritage:???
The Shoes You Wore Today:a pair of mismached chucks.
Your Weakness:food, girls, etc.
Your Fears:being alone, dying with regrets, not being accepted by others.
Your Perfect Pizza:pepperoni, cheese, bacon, chicken, sausage, oregano, yeah...
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:lose some weight, become a better artist, get better at the drums, or get on the honor roll.. yeah, pretty stupid goals, eh?
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:dude, lol, ^_^;, whoa, cheese.
Thoughts First Waking Up:ugh...
Your Best Physical Feature:wow... uh.. if anything, my eyes.
Your Bedtime:whenever i feel like sleeping.
Your Most Missed Memory:i'd like to keep that to myself.
Pepsi or Coke:Coke, all the way.
MacDonalds or Burger King:In 'N' Out Burger.
Single or Group Dates:Single is hot, but Groups are fun.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Brisk.
Chocolate or Vanilla:...both.
Cappuccino or Coffee:Cappucino. unles the coffee's good.
Do you Smoke:no. Smoking's for losers.
Do you Swear:i ask myself that question everyday.
Do you Sing:sometimes.
Do you Shower Daily:if i have time.
Have you Been in Love:yes. still am.
Do you want to go to College:yes.
Do you want to get Married:possibly.
Do you belive in yourself:sometimes.
Do you get Motion Sickness:no.
Do you think you are Attractive:very.
Are you a Health Freak:no.
Do you get along with your Parents:sort of.
Do you like Thunderstorms:yes.
Do you play an Instrument:yes.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:no.
In the past month have you Smoked:no.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:no.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:no.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:no, but about 2 or 3 months ago, yes.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:yes.
In the past month have you been on Stage:yes. but not by choice.
In the past month have you been Dumped:no.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:no.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:possibly.
Ever been Drunk:yes.
Ever been called a Tease:a what?
Ever been Beaten up:yes.
Ever Shoplifted:yes.
How do you want to Die:in my sleep, or during sex.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:somewhere between a pharmacist, something in computers or music, or a linguist.
What country would you most like to Visit:Japan, France (again), Phillipines (again), Spain, and Rome.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:in a girl, any color eyes are hot.
Favourite Hair Color:Brunettes are #1 in my book.
Short or Long Hair:long.
Height:shorter than or at the same height as me...
Weight:i dunno.
Best Clothing Style:those EGL chicks are pretty hot.
Number of Drugs I have taken:i dunno. only legal ones though.
Number of CDs I own:who knows?
Number of Piercings:none.
Number of Tattoos:none.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:too many to count.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2005-03-03
5:17 p.m.

headfirst for halos.

Feeling:

meh...

Music: the glass prison by dream theater.

so... not much has been happening lately. taste of chaos was awesome. i'll add more to this post later.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2005-02-04
8:23 p.m.

who cares!? 3 day weekend!

Feeling:

cheese.

Music: the reflex by duran duran.

got an email from RightStuf today! they finally sent my stuff to me! now all i have to do is wait! whoo.. finally turned in that piece of crap that tony and i called a history project. basically we took a bunch of construction paper and some old shoeboxes.. and a LOT of tape. overall it looks really shoddy, but oh well. Young seemed to like it, and that's all i need. with luck i think we got a good grade! ^_^; just need to finish a few more assignments. ahh.. finally. a 3 day weekend. i seriously need this. too much work in the past week. x_x. but yeah, this weekend looks promising. lots of stuff to do! parties, friends, food, fun, stuff. ah finally, they started to distrubte new episodes of samurai champloo! awesome stuff. if you haven't checked it out, check it out! oh well.. i hope the people at publix got my application. oh well, i f worse comes to worse, i could always try working at the walgreens that's gonna open soon. i need a job.. -_-;

coundown:
PSP - march 24.
Advent Children - march-may?
Eva DVD boxset - 2-4 weeks!
brand spanking new iPod - 1 1/2 weeks! Taste Of Chaos concert - feb. 20!

quote of the day

"haha... dangly bits..."

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2005-01-06
9:44 p.m.

'05. nice.

Feeling:

bored as hell.

Music: sweet - ballroom blitz. yea, you know, the one they play on those car commercials.

hm.. '05. already. wow. dude. i don't see the big deal. once midnight hit that friday night, it didn't seem different at all. i felt nothing. the countdown seemed like just another 10 seconds in my life. i mean, last year, wasn't that good of a year for me. i mean, it had its moments.. some of them very good i might add, but those were too few and far from each other. especially those having to do with a certain someone. God, she's beautiful. i really wouldn't know what my life would be like if i had never met her. ah hell.. i think i have the whole "friend" vibe going on, you know? you know, like a girl would rather just have a regular friendship with me than a serious relationship.. at least that's what it seems like from what i've noticed lately. it really does suck. and i don't know what to do. i've asked around, but that really hasn't helped me. oh well. anyways, i got a bear in my room!

peace out.
quote of the day:
"they call them fingers, but i've never seen them fing!"

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-12-25
10:45 p.m.

Merry F'n Christmas.

Feeling:

lonely and bored as hell..
Music - slow ride by foghat.

so yea.. Christmas. got some cool stuff this morning. including..

Mangas
DVDs
Clothes
Money

ah yes.. nothing like this season.. but.. once all the presents are opened, and your mom goes to work, and after you've done all things possible with your presents (watch them, try them on, read them, play with them) you get bored. sure family is all well and good. but, these days, all my fun, is mostly with friends. and with this being Christmas, all my friends are either busy, with family, or out of town, so its pretty boring. no friends to talk to.. hell even no girlfriend.. so yea i guess it's safe to say that i've seen many a better Christmas. well, i guess thats just how life is. anyways, Merry Christmas to all you and yours. here's to '05, hoping it'll be a better year.

quote of the day

"how come girls always run away from the guys who try to make them happy (i'm one of those guys.), and yet, they protect the guys that make them cry?"

it's not fair dammit. it never is. but who am i to complain about problems that i'm doing absolutely nothing to solve them.. T_T;

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-12-13
6:30 p.m.

tis the season!

Feeling:
awesome. actually, pretty good. yeppers!
Music: watching aqua teen hunger force. VOLUME 3.. thats right, i now have all 3 volumes on dvd. (vol. 3 thanks to tony!)


so yea. it's that time again. a time where people give and get. crazy grandparents who go to the mall only once a year come out to play.. going to the malls, and buying the bejesus out of them. My favorite time of the year. its the time where old can be new again. where nostalgia is king. im a pretty avid mall-goer, so i know whats what at the mall. where to take breaks, where to get the most for food for just 5 bucks. (chik fil a or taco bell or subway, by the way) lots of cute girls at the mall. im serious. i saw a lot of hot chicks ive never seen before at the OP mall. well anyways, ive done almost all my shopping. now its time for some gratification! woo! ^_^; man.. i was up till 1.30 last night typing up a paper on abe lincoln. the man's dead! why write a paper on him. bleh. so tomorrow, i start finals off right with.. BUM BUM BUM BUM ..... (scream) Chemistry. but then i get to leave, because PE classes done have exams! woo! just want this week to be over. then, it's smooth sailing and oreos for all. friends, annoying relatives, and food for all. so yep...


"The reason for the season is pleasin', and i aint't gotten too much pleasin'!" -master shake

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-11-07
8:03 a.m.

Hallelujah, lock and load.

feeling:
horrible. really really bad. okay, like shit.
music: thank you for the venom by my chemical romance.


why. that seems like the age old question. "why did this have to happen?" life is always full of those 'woulda coulda shoulda' moments.. but really there's nothing we can do but look back on them. now in a family, those moments are usually remembered. the bad ones usually. all it needs to spark up... is a catalyst. which in my case, is my fucking dad. he's always playing the "martyr"...the suffering one who deserves a reward for what he does. yea.. reward for what? sleeping on the couch till 2:30 AM with the tv on? thats pretty much all he does when he gets home from work. gets some food and plops down on the couch. and he's there for the rest of the day. sure.. he does laundry.. sure he pays SOME bills... he didnt even fucking finish college! AND LIED TO MY MOM ABOUT IT! (back when they were young) he could have a much better lifestyle right now.. he could have. he would have. he should have. but no. he didnt finish college. he joined the navy. he works at a motherfucking urology clinic. (whats that you ask? HE WORKS WITH PEOPLE'S URINE!!! now thats a pretty shitty job if you ask me.) anyways, moving on. he always puts the blame on rocko when he goes to the bathroom in the house. usually on his freshly folded laundry.. and usually when we're sleeping or out for the day. this kind of incident where my dad gets super pissed because rocko always craps on his parade has happened at LEAST 5 times in the past 2 months. now tell me. in all these instances, it has ALWAYS involved his laundry. YOU'D THINK HE'D GET IT THROUGH HIS FUCKING SKULL TO PUT THE FUCKING CLOTHES ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. or at least SOMEWHERE where rocko couldnt get to it. Jesus Christ... so what if his parents died when he was younger. you're supposed to get over stuff like that. who cares if they treated him bad. what matters now is that he's alive dammit! i just don't understand why people can't just cherish the things they have right now. some people see the glass half empty... some see it half full. now me, i see it as both. the world is both half empty and half full. they compliment each other. you know.. "without bad times, you wouldnt be able to enjoy the good ones." i just... want someone to talk to. someone that understands.. i want someone out there... but.. i haven't talked to her for a bit. ive been trying to call her for the past couple of days.. but first time, her friend answered and second time, no answer... ill try again later. and with that said, i end this entry.

a friend is forever.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-11-03
8:54 p.m.

hallow-fucking-ween!! oh.. and election.

Feeling:
alright.
music: sunglasses at night by corey hart.

woo.. halloween was fun.. altho i wish quite a few more people were there tho.. they woulda made all the difference.. but anyways.. some crazy things we did duing halloween include:

silly stringing a womans car because she didnt give us candy..

shooting roman candles at a poster of orlando bloom.. it was funny because it caught fire!

uh.. yea.. party was fun. lotsa presents. and you can never go wrong with those! moving on... the election. bush. = win! i'm quite satisfied.. because wouldnt you want a crazy cowboy to run the country? i mean come on. who'd win a fist fight between kerry and bush? bush of course. and i hear that congress is working on a new thing that changes the constitution to where an imigrant could become president. (do i smell President Arnold Schwarzenegger in the future?) if he becomes a candidate, hell, hes got my vote.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-10-09
8:35 p.m.

saturday... saturday.. on a saturday..

Feeling:
pretty good if i do say so myself..
Music: the wonderful sound of gunshots in the movie "battle royale"...


today was pretty good for a saturday... not too boring, and not too fun.. woke up.. watched tv, hung out with rocko, the works. then picked up my sis's car and drove the van home.. then got some mcdonalds, but now i feel like tacos.. o_o; after that its been pretty boring.. but still saturday night.. good primetime tv.. so its all good. so right now im watching battle royale..and its going pretty well. i just hope destin remembers to bring it on monday. dun dun dun... wanna go to blockbuster to rent Tales Of Symphonia... i hear lotsa good things about it. so anyways, im gonan finish the movie. peace.

quote of the day:

"is that lipstick?"
"thurprithse!" (surprise)

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-10-03
6:43 p.m.

wake me up when september ends..

Feeling:

thinking about doing something... something big.
Music: Jesus Of Suburbia by green day... also you should get/burn/copy/borrow American Idiot if you can.


im thinking about asking someone...about something.. but im too nervous to even try.. -_-.. i know the worst they can do is say 'no', but really in my head and my heart thats not the answer that i want.. like in that song by blink 182... roller coaster i think its called.. "breathing deeply... walking backwards... finding strength to call and ask her..." i think i should really call her and ask... and no matter the consequence, im sure ill be satisfied either way. remember. when you love someone, tell them/ask them out. sometimes you only have one chance. and i do believe i have found the perfect opportunity. anyways, i gotta go write a parable about a man named Paco. later.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-09-25
12:25 p.m.

i really do hate my life.

Feeling: not good.
Music: I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by my chemical romance.


i really do hate my dad... all he does is get pissed.. thats all.. sure he's fine when everything goes good, but when the smallest.. SMALLEST thing goes wrong.. BAM... just earlier i saw him do something so horrible that if i had a gun, i wouldve shot him right there. God, i have no idea what to do with myself.. i blame my self.. hell, even my dad blames me... -_-; im useless. that, and this other person in my mind is also making me think... she will remain nameless.. for now.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-09-11
7:04 p.m.

-

Feeling: bored...

Music: Endless sacrifice by dream theater

well as you can see, i have a new layout..! strong bad for all!

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-09-05
8:44 p.m.

-

Feeling: alright.. funny actually

Music - Knock On Wood by Mighty Mighty Bosstones

i gots my own warning label!

BreakDownKyKiske is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.
N
POISON

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

well im in talahasee on acount of "hurricane frances" and im stuck here till tomorrow morning.. ill try to put another entry in..

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-08-18
10:08 p.m.

absolute.

feeling: alright.. not very good tho.. not very bad either..

music: run to the hills by iron maiden...

why do we always love the people(s) that are always the most unattainable...? i have nowhere else to turn to if i lose them. ever.its just that sometimes, i dont know why, but no matter how hard you try for it, you can never get it. this goes especially for someone's heart.. sure, time may heal all wounds, but what if it builds an immunity? to me? ... its just this feeling of emptiness inside of me.. something is missing. sure i made be all laughs around people,.. but... i dont know.. something is cold. im out... peace.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-08-04
4:08 p.m.

-

feeling: i dunno. bored.

music: thong song by sisqo.

im so bored.. come to think of it, ive been really bored lately. havent seen many of my friends.. and barely anyones online. it has sucked... for lack of a better word. anyways... my entries havent been all too long lately either... this sucks pretty bad.. been playing resident evil zero a lot lately.. im close to getting all the extras.. magnum revolver, unlimited ammo.. and such.. anyways im gonna go now.. HOPEFULLY add a part 2 later.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-07-27
11:32 a.m.

-

feeling:

....different...

music: the brouhaha by beastie boys

hm.. today's like any other tuesday.. my mom and sis went to the bank to do stuff.. which reminds me.. i still need to preorder halo 2 limited edition.. o_o;; damn.. and i still dont have an xbox yet... well at least ill have the game. but uh... yea..

ill put a part 2 to this one.. im out. peace.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-07-20
5:15 a.m.

holy crap.. back in the states. OMGWTFLOL!

Feeling: tired... and sick. i got a cold.. ^_^;;;

Music: how bizarre by OMC (very very 90s song)

well... im finally back in the states people. the land of the free...refills.. thank God im back here. i once payed THREE EURO FOR A COKE. heres what happened. me, shane and his girlfriend went to a bar in paris. shane got a bottled water and i got a coke.. when i asked the bartender.. "C'est combien?"... he said "Six." i was shocked. and i didnt even get a friggin refill..oh well. anyways.i hope everything in the states worked out fine whilst i was gone.. this is only part one. peace out folks.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-07-04
3:01 p.m.

its review time!! onn the 4th of joooly..

Feeling: ok.. but hey its 4th of july.. hopefully i can use them roman candles i uh.... "borrowed"...

Music: rhyme the rhyme well by beastie boys..

well well well.. the 4th of july.. time to celebrate... america. i had a steak earlier.. it was great.. they put some stuff on it to make it taste good. but besides that.. i know it's long overdue, but i have a couple of reviews for a couple of products that i have gotten in the past couple of weeks. the first being...

To The 5 Boroughs by Beastie Boys

category: hip hop

# of tracks: 15

1. Ch-Check It Out: a good beastie boy's song.. clasic for sure. (just blaze remix is pretty good too)

2. Right Right Now Now: a ballad about NYC. pretty cool. has a good message.

3. 3 The Hard Way: good for playing in your car at the mall parking lot. really bassy. not one of my favs, but pretty good.

4. Time To Build: rip on Bush on this one.. pretty cool.

5. Rhyme The Rhyme Well: this song's alright, but i think it could've been less annoying at some parts.

6. Triple Trouble: a good song. another classic. nice beat. doesn't get old.

7. Hey Fuck You: well pretty self exclaimatory. "if you don't like it, then hey fuck you!"

8. Oh Word?: kinda like pass the mic. seriously. they go at it one at a time in their own styles.

9. That's It That's All: good song for playing in the parking lot. more ripping on Bush.

10. All Lifestyles: good for anyone. nice fast beat.

11. Shazam!: funny song. kinda slow though.

12. An Open Letter To NYC: bush ripping.. shows how good New York is. and tells you the name of the 5 boroughs.

13. Crawlspace: pretty cool.. kinda about someone being pwned on the mic.

14. The Brouhaha: a good song.. nice bass. upbeat.

15. We Got The: Fast, great, never lets down.

all in all, the tracks suck the first time you listen to them, but the more you listen, the better they sound. trust me. a buy for sure.

moving on to...

Samurai Girl: Real Bout High School 6

ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME!!! for some reason, it took tokyopop more than a year to come out with this amazing final volume. and it's so worth it. it's thick as 2 mangas.. and yet, its only $10. its great. everyone gets their own part in it. altho there was wayyy too much charachter building in this one. but besides that, it met all of my expectations.. some parts were kinda dumb while some were just... awesome. the art, the fighting, all of it. great. but if you wanna buy this one, you might wanna by the first 5 as well.. ( i did! ^_^)

well then.. the review is over!!

well, im out. peace. on the 4th.

quote of the day.: *hitting the spiderman poster* EIGIGNNN!!!!

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-06-22
8:15 p.m.

oh fuck yea... village photos works again!!

Feeling: pretty fucking great..

Music: jet pilot by system of a down..

whoo this summer.. has been a fuckin roller coaster.. lol.. start things off right.. with getting 4 teeth pulled... the getting toe surgery the following wednesday.. then a random assortment of people coming over.... red dead revolver.. late fee (fuckin blockbuster!)... onimusha 3!.. crazy night sunday night..saw dodgeball.. then tony, joey and leonard came over.. played crazy ness all night long.. only to end with playing Splatterhouse 2 and 3.. and watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze... yes.. a classic... a night ful of coke, halo, ninja gaiden, and uh.. smash brothers... wow.. it was a fun night.. none of us slept till 10 in the morning.. fun sleepover.. need to have more people over next time... gonna be fun fun.. in the not so sun. uh.. got some more toenail cut today! whoo! doesnt that just make you hungry!? the doc says i should be 100% fine in about a week...which is good. but anyways, moving on, uh.. havent talked to/seen lisa B in a while.. -_-;; im sooo bored... blehmg.. talked to kate a few times too.. those chats are always long and full of fun! talking about the possible marketing possiblities of BucketMan!! speaking of which,

http://intobattle.ytmnd.com/

BUCKETMAN!! THE POWER OF THE BUCKET BRA/MISSLE LA-UNCH-ER!

thats all for now kiddies... peace.

"quote of the day" "you see, opinions are like butts. most people think that theirs is better than others."

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-06-16
6:59 p.m.

staring at the sea, staring at the sand.

Feeling: ok.. but so fucking bored i wanna take a baseball bat and smash..... things.. o_o;

Music: killing an arab by the cure (good song. slow, but good. its based on the book: "the stranger" )

its kinda funny how what you used to love when you were younger has gone bitter these days. things such as pokemon. bnet (especially bnet. few of my irl friends know about it). music. (i have a lot of it, but these days music sounds so bland. theres very few songs i would actually download/buy im more into old music like 80s.) speaking of which, i wanna buy the beastie boys' new album, To The 5 Boroughs. but since this damn toe of mine isnt healing as fast as it should be i cant go to places as often as i would want. this summer sucks. ass. but anyways. i visited the warp zone chat listing earlier today. me and leonard were looking thru the chats. they were all empty. all of them. even the websites the chats belonged to dont even exist anymore. bnet is dead. thank the Lord. that forsaken invention corrupted many many lives. but hey i met a lotta people from there, even tho.. im only in contact with like 1 or 2 of them right now. still.. i wish i had a broadband connection. that way, things would be a lot faster. wouldnt have to worry about the phone. i wouldnt have to spend much time the computer, if anything, to go onto AIM. i miss my friends. my parents wont let ryan come over. i dunno why? its the middle of the summer. my toe's fucked up so i cant go out. and when i invite friends over we always sit around and play video games and watch tv and crap like that. bleh i dont understand parents sometimes. actually yea all the time i cant understand them. that and i dont understand girls that much..oh well thats just the way it happens. well ima go. peace.

quote of the day: "stereotypes make the world go round." yay another quiz! You belong to the world of the self-destructive.
You belong in another of my worlds. The world of
self-destructive tendencies, either through
actual physical destructiveness or emotional
breakdowns that you keep bottled up inside,
thus hurting yourself. You feel that life is
nothing but pain, and you see red in everything
with the memories of the blood you have
bled(literally or figuratively) for your
hurting. You live in a hidden land that few
will ever understand or see in you, because you
keep it to yourself and only let a few rare
people into the truth of your reality. Er...I
don't condone my own actions, so I really don't
know what else to say. Of course, you could
also just REALLY like blood....or you might be
homicidal, not suicidal. ^_^;

Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-06-14
3:49 p.m.

i just dont give a damn.

Feeling: you know what? i dont give a fuck about anything. i wouldnt care if i died right now. and you know what? who would care? no one. thats who.

Music: fight for your right to party...by the beastie boys.

you know what? my sister is a fucking bitch. that bitch actually has the nerve to tell me what to wear.what i dont want. the fucking jacket's left pocket is FUCKED UP for God's SAKE!! THE SHITS FUCKING TORN!!! a 60 dollar jacket.... that shit aint worth nothing. now i know why her old b/f broke up with her. cuz shes too fucking demanding. i DONT want to look like a fucking college student... UNTIL IM IN ACTUALLY FUCKING COLLEGE!!! GOT IT!?!? LET ME LIVE MY FUCKIN LIFE THE WAY I WANT TO LIVE! COLLEGE IS TWO... TWO FUCKING YEARS AWAY!! LET ME ENJOY BEING A GODDAMN HIGH SCHOOLER. JESUS!. i broke my closet door earlier by punching it. i fixed it tho... damn..

quote of the day: tha fuck are you lookin at?

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-06-11
10:22 p.m.

much ado.?

Feeling: pretty good. toe's almost healed.

Music: bring the noise by public enemy feat. anthrax. a classic rock/rap crossover from the 80s.

whaahwhh.... today was my mom's bday.. woke up pretty early... ate at cracker barrel.. their pancakes are breathtaking. ^_^;; uh.. went grocery shopping.. and we got a new digital camera! soon ladies! youll see pictures of me in all sorts of suggestive poses!!! not really.. maybe i should make a pay site.. >_>;; *thinks* maybe not. but uh.. goin to orlando tomorrow so i better end this one early tonight! peace folks!

quote of the day: why do they call it "cracker barrel"?

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-06-06
11:00 p.m.

....why? because i can.

Feeling:... i dont know these days.

Music: b4u glorious style by naoki.

dreams... they are quite weird are they not?.. one minute, you think youve got something, but the next, you figure out you never had it in the first place... or that feeling you get when you had something so incredibly great... but, it ended very sadly. you lost it in one of the worst ways possible.. yes. dreams can be destroyed as easily as they are made, if not easier. or that feeling you get when youve waited so long... for something.. then you get it... but then after a while you abuse it.. and it breaks on you. nothing lasts forever. not even dreams. honestly. they dont last forever. nothing ever does. sometimes you wonder if there is a God. i do believe there is One, but.. sometimes it just doesnt seem like He's there to look after you... especially if youre in a situation where youre really down in the dumps, and no one is there to comfort you, let alone even talk to you. all you can do is think. think about what happened. and it plays over and over in your head. messes with your sanity. over and over until you cant take it and cry yourself to sleep. ive had plenty of these experiences..but God has always pulled through in the end. but.. like all euphoria, it must end sometime.. then the bad things always happen. everything that can go wrong goes wrong. and theres almost nothing you can do about it. im gonna go to sleep. good night..

peace. take it easy, folks.

quote of the day: well lookee there! he's bleedin! lol from red dead revolver..

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-06-05
4:09 p.m.

the art of sitting around...

Feeling: lonely. sitting around all day can make you think about weird things.

Music: take me out by franz ferdinand. holy crap. its raining outside. whoa.. that came out of nowhere... this damn toe isnt helping me at all...

been playing ripped GBA games all day.. advance wars is fun. wario ware is pure genious... i forget the rest because most of it is crap... hm.. well.. ill end this one early today like i did the other.. ill leave with this quote... "how can you love (or like a whole lot) someone if you honestly know that they probably dont feel the same way you do?"

(miss her too..) oh well.. "if happy little blue birds fly across the rainbow, why dammit why cant i?"

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-06-03
10:39 p.m.

what do you mean i aint kind?....just not your kind..

Feeling: little weird.. my toe is hurtin like a bitch though...

Music: peace sells by megadeth..

"who do you say that i am?".. i am myself. and none other. but.. i do want another. i want someone to care about. i want someone to care about me like i care for them.. i want a gf... dammit. right now i feel like complete shit.. cant even get any of the girls i like to be more than friends with me.. hmm.. i dont know.. i.. really want someone.. this sucks.. oh well.. im out.. peace folks..

"quote of the day" : HAHAHAHAHAHA THEY BLEW UP CONGRESS!

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-06-01
10:59 p.m.

yay.. no!... yay!!

Feeling: alright.. not very tired tho.. i might sleep late again..

Music: favourite things by me first and the gimme gimmes

well today was an eventful day.. woke up.. did stuff.. took a shower.. picked my sis up from the airport cuz she had spent the weekend with her b/f.. the past few days have been crazy.. my cousin bryan had come over for the weekend.. hes cool. gonna miss ya man! uh.. tomorrow i gotta go to the hospital because of my foot.. bleh dumb toenail.. i wanna get it over with before my trip and i want to play ddr again!!! x_x;; oh well.. uh.. lets see.. i got new jeans on saturday.. and a black pair of chucks.. hm.. oh and a new newtype.. came with a "panyo panyo di gi charat" DVD.. dude.. this show is so cute, its almost sick.. it actually makes you want to hurt someone.. lol... anyways i took a quiz, and i got:

HASH(0x88588a4)
You are Rinna! You're extremely polite and like to
make new friends, but you have a problem with
falling asleep waaay too often.



Which Panyo Panyo Di Gi Charat Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

shes cute.. and she sleeps a lot too.. so shes a lot like me.. wanted to get piyoko too.. im out.. peace.

"quote of the day": now you may ask "why do we treat customers like this? why? well, fuck em, thats why!"

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-05-31
2:18 a.m.

good stuff, i think youd agree.

Feeling: i dunno.. not very tired..

Music: boys don't cry by the cure..

its almost 2:30.. which begs the question, why am i on so late? then answer is, i dont know. honestly. i guess its cuz i took a really long nap earlier. hm.. you know that movie, "the day after tomorrow".. really its one big "modern" hippie movie.. its all about "saving the environment and such.. also, it was one big advertisement for FOX network.. cuz.. for some reason, everyone was watching fox when they were watching the news.. fox 5 fox 10 hell they even have a fox 3. i think.. and not to mention most of the things in the movie are impossible. who can walk from philly to NYC in one day, dragging a half dead dude? or.. who would want to make out in a frozen library, with a bad fever and an infected wound? hell i dunno. its pretty funny really. the director/writer also did independence day. he really must like worldwide disaster... and putting the word "day" in his movie titles, not to mention the movie was released on "memorial day"... but it really made me think.. about 2 certain people. who shall remain nameless... but hey, its my head.. who do i really. more? who? why? when? where? how? these questions.. are going thru my head constantly. but i cant answer them. its just one of those days.. im out. peace.

quote of the day: anyways i got 4 teeth pulled friday morning... saturday night, after we got back from the movie, my dad says..

"mark, what are these? pills? your medcine.?"

then i say,"dad... those are my teeth."

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-05-29
3:51 p.m.

psycho.. groupie... cocaine.. crazy..

Feeling: ok...

Music: psycho by system of a down...

went grocery shopping today. the commisary gets hectic on saturdays. i just noticed that.. i got a pair of black chucks to go along with my black/blue flame ones! yay. watching a movie later on... dunno which one.. probably "the day after tomorrow".. and ima try to get a J-O-B from AMC... hopefully.. im out. peace.

Quote of the Day:

"yall nigars kneed to take

bking soda and kokane... and cook it

best regards,

Conrollup.

P.S. ppppppprrrrr"

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-05-28
11:31 a.m.

much ado about nothing.

hm... feeling: like shit. completely.

Music: ch-check it out by the beastie boys

today.. i woke up in the morning... feeling like a normally do... went to the dentist only to do what you ask?... to get 4 teeth pulled...luckily, i had my CD player with me. i just wish i had my iPod.. cuz at least id have a much much bigger selection of music to choose from.. (hey you try listening to blink 182 for a whole hour while getting needled in your mouth, and 4 teeth pulled.).. well i have all 4 teeth with me right now.. i never knew them fuckers can be so big!.. seriously!.. but that aside... i got pieces of gauze in my mouth and an ice pack that makes me look like i have the mumps on my head. hm.. that aside, ITS FREAKIN SUMMER! FINALLY! no more finals! no more school. but with no more school, there have to be goodbyes. next year some people wont come to the forsaken school known as BJS.... bye chica. hope you and ryan make good friends over there. have a good time in mexico. you too ted. youre awesome. makin sexual innuendo has never been so much fun. thankfully, rachel is staying..!! muha! the fruits are still ripe for picking!!! krizia! girl! you have a great time at your new school! see ya senior year. andrew. man keep on teckin.. all over. mr wilkinson! words cannot express how i feel right now. dude youve taught me so much. ill never forget any of it! youre like that cool retro/hippie/80s older brother that i never had! have a great time in italy and boston.. there goes the goodbyes..now.. uh.. yea.. kate.. i read your journal.. are you doing ok? seriously. if you wanna talk about it, just IM me and we can talk about it as long as you want. lisa B! i hope you have a good time at your dad's house. IM me anytime you want. bleh my mouth hurts.. ima end this one right now.. im out. peace.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-05-25
7:49 p.m.

schools almost over. but why? i wish we had more time..

Feeling: i dunno.. a little confused... but besides that uh...

Music: turning japanese by the vapors.... i love the 80s..

hm... ah.. summertime... some would say it is the time of "love".. some would say that its a time to be "hot". i believe... it is the time for "parties".. but.. while a buncha crazy parties await in the summertime... goodbyes must be said.. some people i wont see again.. some people i wont see for a while... im gonna miss those people a lot.. people like mr. wilkinson whos gonna go to boston for Grad school.... theres too many bad memories at that school.. but. i have some really good ones too... oh well.. english and biology exams tomorrow.. better study up a little.... im out.. peace.

"Quote Of the day": "dude, if i had that jet plane i would call it the turboted!" - ted.. talkin about the jet plane from swat kats..

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-05-23
3:24 p.m.

the best way to start out the summer..

Feeling: pretty good.. drawing... and i finally got galaxy angel manga...

Music: ride on shooting star by the pillows..

well i drove for an hour and a half yesterday on i-10 to get to talahassee... i didnt know i was goin 92 MPH when i was tryin to overtake a semi truck.. heh.. well i gotta do some still life.. uh... well i finally found galaxy angel manga #1... at walden books of all places.. that place's selection kicks ass.. you can find anything you want there.. seriously.. and the best part is.. not many people go there... so its easy to find what you want.. whoo..and i gotta work on a 4 page paper... burn a cd for a friend.... study a bit.... too much to do... ill probably make another update later.. Quote Of The Day: Be Unique. (...Just like everyone else.) - from a tshirt i saw in publix.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-05-15
6:15 p.m.

working out stuffs...

Feeling: dunno..little stresssed out because of the big map test next week.. and then theres finals... so.. uh yea..

Music: WITH YOU AND BUY OWNER ITS AS GOOD AS SOLD!!

i never asked for so much work. i never wanted it. but... as with all work, it has to be done. but sometimes it doesn't get done.. for example. yesterday in world history class, i didnt finish my grid for a huge world history map test that we're gonna do next week. this sucks... and world history is one of my worst subjects too... bleh.. few other stuffs that i think shouldnt happen.... i just havent been as hyper as i should.. just yesterday at lunch i just completely snapped.....as usual i stole a cookie or 2 from rachel T's lunch...but.. as always.. someone (namely chica) steals the other one.. all of a sudden i yell GODDAMMIT CHICA!! then funiest thing is.. i threw the cookie i was eating... then i stormed off to another table... oh well.. im givin chica another chance, but if he blows it, i collect his fuckin head... heh.. oh well.. THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE MUST TURN!! im out.. peace..

NEW! Quote of the day: "Everyone, here is the winner of the costume contest! Jay Sherman as "The Bald, Gay Man!" " - Duke, The Critic

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-05-07
1:26 p.m.

braces suck and im in french..

Feeling: sucky. my mouth hurts becuase of my braces.

Music: i got Ratz by mc chris stuck in my head... "yea that beat is badass.." - Carl

well im grounded from going online for a while, cept at school. and i just got braces yesterday. a word to the wise... SPACERS SUCK!!! i cant eat anything good. and all ive had was soup and other crap soft foods...well, i can take most of it.. but sometimes its just rediculous. the metal thingies always poke at my tougne and crap and next month i have to ger FOUR... count em.. FOUR teeth taken out.. this sucks.. oh well.. if it's good for me that its good for all of us... but i cant wait till i can eat solid food again...

well im off the read some french crap... peace.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-05-04
1:07 p.m.

in class... doing some work... sexy, huh?

im sitting next to an idiot who thinks accidentally going to a porn site when the porn site just happens to share the same name of a story we've red... oh well.. it is pretty funny i gotta admit. well im doin some stupid outline on some stores we've read this school year... bell just rang.. i better go..

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-04-29
2:19 p.m.

well first crappy entry.

Feeling: like shit. i could be worse tho. Music: the rock show by blink 182 bleh.. ive been having a really shitty today today. ive been forgetting my homework, and whats worse is i dunno if i can bring them up by the time the quarter ends.... bleh i have to work on my work. i hope i can. i cant wait till summer.. i dont want to lose anymore stuffs... i cant even get the girl ( or maybe... girl(s)???! muahaa! the suspense is killin you, right!?) i have to. todays the beginning of the rest of my life. oh well.. im sure tomorrow will be better.. especially since im goin to tony's party.. well, im out. peace.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-04-25
10:14 p.m.

some quizzes...

Feeling: alright.. a little bored though.

Music: bounce by system of a down..

bleh.. i decided that it was time to make a real entry this time around... once i even.. whoa.. scalawag... i have a few more quiz results...not much has happened today besides the fact that i went to Church earlier and it was really noisy because of all the crying babies.. so i couldnt pay attention to anything.. oh well.. theres always next sunday... heres the quiz stuffs...


You are Eikichi Onizuka!

Which GTO character are YOU?

Bright and sunny, you can laugh at the face of danger, and are pretty much the loudmouth of the group.
I'm Gippal!

Which FFX-2 guy are YOU? Define yourself!


I'm Rikku!

Which FFX-2 character are YOU? Define yourself!

rikku, shes hot.. if i could have her i would spread her like peanut butter on bread..

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-04-25
2:20 p.m.

well... quizzes. undeniably? yes.

Feeling: Ok, but i still have some work to do.. and napping.

Music: Fu-u-ga by lapis lazuli from the guilty gear X OST

well i took some quizzes and such, and im alright. got some royal true orange (quite possibly the best, and filipino, orange soda around. get it at an oriental store!) anyways, i took some quizzes to break into my new blog, so here they are..:

You belong to the world between light and darkness.
You belong in the world of balance, where
everything has two sides and everything is not
always what it appears on the outside. Of
course, if you have a sense of humor, you may
find employment as a sarcastic comedian. If
not, enjoy the choices that are presented to
you through life, they will always have two
sides to them,one which leads you to the light,
and the other which entrenches you in darkness.
Walk on with hope, my friend.



Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla

HASH(0x895008c)
You are WILD AND CRAZY KIDS. You couldn't get
through life without a little fun... or a neon
colored t-shirt. You are a team player and
really into Omar Gooding. GO YOU!



Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

CWINDOWSDesktopPirates.JPG
Pirates of the Caribbean!



What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

well, im out. peace folks.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-04-24
10:27 p.m.

the funniest part is that the song revolves around donuts!

ok.. i got the layout to be blood red.. which is badass.. considering how cool it is. we got the regular hot chick.. unfortunately she gets killed in the movie.. if i were her boyfriend if probably be the funny one that she kills earlier in the movie.. "do you like ferraris?" heh.. next time i wanna try and pick up a chick ill use that one.. only if they dont have a sword.

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -

2004-04-24
9:47 p.m.

movin on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky...

Feeling: alright i guess..

Music: She wants to move by N.E.R.D.

well.. it seems that since, my other blog on upsaid has been not updated for a little over a month, i had to move over here to the good folks at diaryland. to upsaid, FUCK YOU! im with diaryland.. ill make another update later.. and hopefully i can get a ky eyecatch on later..

- - e M 0 + | O N.. $ i C K n e S$ - -